Written text from an overheard conversation

Oh no. I'm gunna try to do this. Ugh, this is so... sorry. Oh my God this is so funny. It's like a book about sex. I don't like this. What are you reading? Mine says you have a way with words, this is so random! This is like, perhaps i should choose something slightly... wait can you take this off the record? 

What? Each letter of what, the alphabet? By the way don't come into the kitchen I'm chopping onion. What words start with z? The word sex appears quite frequently. This is a huge chicken breast. It's all squishy. You wanna bite? Shit, I got to chop up mushrooms.

Tonight, tonight, tell me I'm the only one. Salt! Me tight, tonight, it's youuuu... Are you supposed to wash mushrooms? I'm missin you like candy....

I think  I really wanna switch the book. I'm so indecisive. Make a decision. Switch the damn book. What's that N'sync song in A Bug's Life? Remember that camp-out story I told you about? We chose some N'sync song. Yeah this isn't working. This will be good. See what are you supposed to do? 

Work Katao. I'm so excited we're down to the final 4. She made it look like a fools outfit. Shut-up bitch. There is no one to talk to. It was fun at first but then it got kinda lonely. 

Then don't. 

Your model was Katerina, what do you want to do? Afeterzein! Only three will compete at fashion week. Tim is waiting in the lobby. I just don't know what I want to do. I am nervous.

Funny this is so typical of me. I don't know why I even care. Follow me. Oh! Here we go one more time, N'sync has got the flow! Yes, yes, yes here we go, N'sync has got the flow...

Oh my God Ashley. You're singing some of the most random shit. Something has to stop. No Gloria Estefan. No it's Michael Jackson. I was trying to block it out. Too much, too much. Bobby D! My ass is sore.

Where's the Raid?